One of my favorite authors, Rick Warren says…”Let me sum it up this way: You are not what you think you are, but rather, what you think, you are.”
If you’re a believer, deciding to make Jesus CEO of your life is only the beginning. “Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes.” (Ephesians 4:23 NLT) You have to decide to change the way you think about things. We think ourselves into feelings. That’s why if you show me your friends I’ll show you your future. You can’t hang around with friends who are getting divorced and listen to them talk endlessly about everything that’s wrong with their marriages and feel the same way about your own marriage. Because what you think, affects how you feel. I can think myself into feeling tired, or anxious or happy or sad. Most of the time, I can trace my emotions, back to my thinking. Feelings should be thought of as indicators not dictators.
Skeptical? I’m not surprised, most women believe they are a slave to their feelings. We love chick flicks where people feel things deeply and can’t help the way they feel… but I disagree and so does the Bible. So let’s do a little exercise..close your eyes. I want you to picture a hot summer day, you’re sooo hot and thirsty. I ask “Would you like some nice cold homemade lemonade??” You say” YES! I’m sooo hot and thirsty!” So I get a lemon out of the fridge, oh you can smell it. Soooo lemony and fresh smelling…I take out a knife and slice it and you can see it’s so juicy.. the juice running down onto the cutting board mmmm it smells so delicious. Is your mouth watering yet? …. But there isn’t any lemon and you aren’t hot and I’m not even there. Your mind is so powerful. If you aim it in the right direction, there’s almost nothing you can’t do, but if you let it wander aimlessly for whatever the world offers up. You’ll end up adrift…someday asking yourself “what was I thinking?”
If you want to change your situation you have to change your thinking on purpose, and specifically, it doesn’t just happen by accident. For instance my husband and I have been in ministry for about 27 years and so many women are desperate for a change in their marriage…they love their kids, they want their marriage to work but feel hopeless. And they will eventually say ” I just don’t love him anymore.”
If you want to love your husband more, then don’t dwell on his shortcomings, or how he irritates you, or what he needs to improve on. Don’t say “he’ll never change” that says more about what you believe about God than what you believe about your husband. Instead say to yourself “I love my husband more and more every single day, he’s the best!” You may say “well Lisa, you don’t know my husband.” Well, that’s true, but I know my God and I know that He’s in the redemption business. Now, if you’re being abused, girl get the heck out of there right now…do not stay another minute. But most women are not being abused, they’re being deceived…. by the thinking of the world or by the enemy of their souls. I find that so many of my sweet sisters are stuck fantasizing about and even believing that there’s someone better for them out there than their husbands. Someone who would treat them better… who would not make the mistakes their husbands have made. Someone…well like the guy on TV or like their friend’s husband or that nice guy at their office. The world thinks…what’s the big deal? Kids get over divorce all the time, I deserve to be happy. Well you know the grass is always greener over the septic tank (thanks Erma Bombeck)…and I do mean always. So if that’s you, I want you to start saying to yourself….”he looks perfect but I wonder where the septic tank is located?” LOL
When you change the way you think of things the things you think of change. If you want to change your life, start with the 7 inches between your ears. Want a better husband? Start by being his biggest cheerleader, in your thoughts and in your speech… you’ll be telling him what to think about himself in the process and he’ll start believing it and acting out of it. Your own feelings will begin to change because of what you’re thinking and saying about him. You will begin to love him more and…. he’ll begin to be more lovable.
As she thinks in her heart …so is she.