I’m traveling with my business and have forgotten my calcium supplements….so I’m wide awake at 4:30 am. Ahhhh the joy of menopause. I’m going to ask the Lord about a few things when I see him, like I really could’ve used a good case of insomnia when my kids were younger and waking up at all hours. Now, when I could sleep, I can’t sleep. And then there’s the whole sex drive thing….well, maybe it’s best if I don’t get into that.
I wanted to chat a bit about the loneliness of leadership and what a blessing it’s been in my life.
You know I’m around people all the time and yet I find myself getting lonely sometimes. I’m either their leader in the business world, or their Pastor’s wife and can’t really be completely myself sometimes. I can’t spout off, go off or goof off when it comes to my role in their lives. I’m privileged to live out the sacrifice of leadership in both my business and my church life. I get lonely sometimes even though I’m with people all the time. I rely a lot on my close friendship with my husband and that’s so great, but I’ve also learned to rely on God in a whole different way. I know that I can trust my husband to keep a confidence, to love me unconditionally and support me no matter what…. come what may. My relationship with my husband is deeper because of our reliance on each other as friends. But also my friendship with God has grown sweeter, more intimate because of the leadership positions I hold.
Don’t get me wrong I’ve been blessed with so many incredibly close friendships, beautiful friends who love me well. I’m so thankful for them, but unless they are ministry wives themselves it’s hard to understand the path you walk.
There’s no one on Earth who loves me more completely or knows me more intimately than God. He’s not shocked by my shallowness or made unsteady by my occasional failures of faith. I can be completely me. I can pour out my heart to him and he loves me just the same. I love helping people and I’m sure you do too. I listen a lot and I consider it an incredible blessing to be used by God in people’s lives. Never discount the blessing of loneliness that comes from the sacrifice of leadership. You will rely on God in a way that will satisfy you and you’ll know you’re never alone.