The worst thing you can do for someone you love….

I have a few  people I especially look up to when it comes to leadership.  My husband Barry, John Maxwell,  and the late John Wooden.   My husband is one of the  most loyal, faithful men I know.  For 26 years he has loved me well;  I’ve never had to wonder where he was, who he was with,  or if he thought I was the prettiest girl in the room.  John Maxwell is a nationally renowned speaker and author, you can click on his link on this blog to learn more about this awesome man.    The late John Wooden was the “winningest coach in college basketball” ever.  Now, I’m not an athlete…..not at all.  But I  sit at John Wooden’s   feet when it comes to leadership.  He was successful on and off the court; faithful to one wife and one faith for his whole life.  Supremely successful, forever faithful. I read from a devotional everyday by John Wooden, to help challenge me and keep me on track.   Today,  I was especially challenged by something he wrote…” The worst thing you can do for someone you love are the things they could and should do for themselves.”    He refers to 1 Thessalonians 5:14 ” Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid.  Take tender care of those who are weak.  Be patient with everyone”.   As women, we are naturally  nurturers.  We are loving mothers, sisters, daughters, friends.  I don’t know about you but I hate to see those I love in pain.  I want to step in, to help ease the pain, to make it easier for them. Many times,   I have to tell myself to resist the temptation to make it easier for those I love.  Almost nothing good comes easily, or painlessly.  When I want to rush in and do something for those I love that they should be doing on their own, I rob them of the lesson or the satisfaction that comes from a hard job well done.  I have to play that phrase in my head….”the worst thing I can do” because I love the feelings that come from “saving” my children.    I hate to watch them walk through a hard time, when I could fly in and come to the rescue.  They would feel so grateful and I would feel so needed and loved….but….sometimes it’s the worst thing I can do for them.   I have an empty nest this year and I have to say….it’s not the most fun I’ve ever had.  The silence is obnoxiously loud and  the time on my hands is beginning to feel like “heavy-lifting”.    I would love the chance to be my children’s hero right about now, college is hard.  One is in their last semester, one in their first…… but I’ll resist.  I’ll resist doing for them what they can and should do for themselves, because I love them more than I love myself.    Loving people isn’t usually about doing the easiest thing or the thing that makes you feel best….it’s more about doing the most beneficial thing.    John Wooden writes ” I coached my players not to expect time outs during the games and I didn’t want them looking over at the bench for directions….I didn’t want them to need me once the game started”

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The worst thing you can do for someone you love….

  1. Crystal says:

    Lisa: Thank you for this reminder: Loving people isn’t usually about doing the easiest thing or the thing that makes you feel best….it’s more about doing the most beneficial thing. You challenge me to walk a better walk.

  2. Vivek Aseeja says:

    What a refreshingly lovely post. Sometimes, its better to back off and let loves ones grow stronger on their own.

  3. westononwashington says:

    Lisa:

    I, too, love the greatness of John Wooden’s character – he was a remarkable man. I am compelled to tell you, however, that the quote you have attributed to him actually belonged to Abraham Lincoln, a man John and I truly admired. Coach often quoted Mr. Lincoln (that is how he referred to him), and this was one of his favorites.

    Steve Weston

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s