I laugh at all his jokes

Posted on July 25, 2011 by

I laugh at all his jokes….yes I do….and they’re reeeally funny. You know there was a time when I withheld my approval from my husband in subversive little ways, like not laughing at his jokes, because, well, I was at war with him……

I have a wonderful husband and an awesome marriage today,  but that wasn’t always the case. There was a time when I wanted to pretty much die rather than stay married, that was about 18 years ago ( I’ve been married for 27 years). Not only did my husband and I not love each other, we didn’t even like each other. I really meant it when I said I would’ve rather died than stayed married, that was not an exaggeration. We were at war with each other about everything. We were in competition with each other….who was in control, who was right, who knew best how to raise the kids, spend money, organize the house…..WAR.   I was teaching a couple’s Sunday school class at the time and he was a minster of music.  Really…..not only were we  in church all the time, we were on staff. Except for the janitor, we  were first to get there and last to leave and our marriage was falling apart. I remember praying “Lord I know that you hate divorce and that you love me completely, so I must be missing something. I want to leave soooo badly, but I know it’s not your will. Either you are actually mean or I’m really messed up”

Over the next few posts I’ll be sharing how the Lord completely transformed my marriage and home. Hopefully your marriage isn’t singing it’s swan song, maybe you feel it could just be better. My prayer is that you’ll have the marriage God intended you to have. I believe you can because I’ve lived it.

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Never Alone

Posted on July 18, 2011 by

I’m traveling with my business and have forgotten my calcium supplements….so I’m wide awake at 4:30 am. Ahhhh the joy of menopause. I’m going to ask the Lord about a few things when I see him, like I really could’ve used a good case of insomnia when my kids were younger and waking up at all hours. Now, when I could sleep, I can’t sleep. And then there’s the whole sex drive thing….well, maybe it’s best if I don’t get into that.

I wanted to chat a bit about the loneliness of leadership and what a blessing it’s been in my life.
You know I’m around people all the time and yet I find myself getting lonely sometimes. I’m either their leader in the business world, or their Pastor’s wife and can’t really be completely myself sometimes. I can’t spout off, go off or goof off when it comes to my role in their lives. I’m privileged to live out the sacrifice of leadership in both my business and my church life. I get lonely sometimes even though I’m with people all the time. I rely a lot on my close friendship with my husband and that’s so great, but I’ve also learned to rely on God in a whole different way. I know that I can trust my husband to keep a confidence, to love me unconditionally and support me no matter what…. come what may. My relationship with my husband is deeper because of our reliance on each other as friends. But also my friendship with God has grown sweeter, more intimate because of the leadership positions I hold.
Don’t get me wrong I’ve been blessed with so many incredibly close friendships, beautiful friends who love me well. I’m so thankful for them, but unless they are ministry wives themselves it’s hard to understand the path you walk.

There’s no one on Earth who loves me more completely or knows me more intimately than God. He’s not shocked by my shallowness or made unsteady by my occasional failures of faith. I can be completely me. I can pour out my heart to him and he loves me just the same. I love helping people and I’m sure you do too. I listen a lot and I consider it an incredible blessing to be used by God in people’s lives. Never discount the blessing of loneliness that comes from the sacrifice of leadership. You will rely on God in a way that will satisfy you and you’ll know you’re never alone.

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Lifted

Posted on July 5, 2011 by

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being short….in fact, I kind of enjoy it.  I’ve never had to worry about wearing heals out on a date…..I was never even CLOSE to being taller than my date. No, I don’t think stature has anything to do with how beautiful you are inside or out, or how successful you are…..or most especially how close to God you are. I make the Lord my dwelling, and that’s all that really matters in life. The picture below seemed like such a big deal at the time, but as I look back, the Lord had his angels “lifting me up in their hands”.   I was being strengthen, learning lessons, being healed of some things that would’ve allowed “harm to overtake me”. I look back and know that I was and am being lifted. What about you? Do you know you are lifted ?

Psalm 91

9If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,”
and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

Shortest in the Pageant

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Lifted

Posted on June 20, 2011 by

I’m reeeeeally  short, vertically challenged, have- to- sit- on- my -purse- to- drive- our- truck kind of short.  The crazy thing is,  I didn’t realize I was short, until I was 18 years-old.  Really,  I had  absolutely no idea that everyone but those under 10 years of age were taller than me.    I recall the exact moment that I realized my height deficiency.  I vividly remember because it made national news the next day.  I was in the Miss America Pageant in Atlantic City( I was Miss Maryland)  and the production asisstant  called me out of rehearsal to have a press picture taken.  I thought “wow!  I wonder why they want to take my picture? How cool!”  No, not really so cool…. as it turned out, I was the shortest girl in the Miss America Pageant that year.  The photographer stood me face to face with  the tallest girl   in the pageant.  To make the height difference even more pronounced, I  was wearing penny loafers that day, and Miss “incredibly tall and leggy” was wearing high heels.   Wow! bummer,  to realize  that I’m reeeeally short and have it make national news all in the same week.

You know we all have those places in our lives where we feel like the shortest one the pageant.  It may be in your profession, or family,  or ministry, where you feel like you just don’t quite measure up.   I have to remind myself that it’s the Lord who blesses me, lifts me, enables me.  I remind myself that it’s His supernatural power and love that keep me from falling short.    Check out the chunk of Psalm 91 below.  It’s a great reminder for me when I begin to feel like I’m falling short in some areas,  that the Lord is the MOST HIGH and He sends His angels to lift me…higher than my worldly height ever could.

Psalm919If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,”
and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

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Dancing in the Rain…..

Posted on May 12, 2011 by

Life’s not about waiting for the storms to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.  Mac Anderson

I think one of the biggest frustrations I see people dealing with,  is the expectation  that some day there won’t be any storms.  If they live right, pray the right prayers, follow the bible etc, they won’t have any trials or problems.  The bible doesn’t promise, a storm-free life, it promises that the storms you encounter will work for your good.  Challenges will come, most of which we are powerless to control.  What we can control  however is how we react to the storms.    The Bible actually has a lot to say about  trials, problems, challenges….storms.  God uses words like “rejoice”, “peace”, “joy” when talking about trouble.  Dancing in the rain is not a natural reaction, in fact it sounds kind of SUPER-natural to me.  When I encounter a trail, I have to  check my natural reaction at the door and choose a God-directed reaction instead.  It’s tough, it stretches me, because I’m much more comfortable freaking out or pulling the covers over my head than, “dancing in the rain”.   Dancing instead of freaking out  is a choice.

God’s directions for dancing in the rain—Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice…..DO NOT LET your hearts be troubled…..be anxious for nothing but in everything through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,  make your requests known to God and the peace that passes understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.
The Lord said, in this world you will have trouble…..but I have overcome the world.

God says DO NOT LET your heart but troubled, be anxious for NOTHING. I believe that challenges in life,  “trouble” as the bible says,  are given so that we might exercise our faith…..to give our faith a work out, so to speak.  God  gives a dance lesson in the book of Philipians …..”whatever is good, lovely, true , think upon these things”.  Train your brain to think about, ponder, meditate on the good, lovely things. Recite the good things over and over, out loud, think on purpose about what’s lovely.  Here’s what it might sound like : “I  enjoy great health, my kids are healthy, my husband and I love  each other  deeply, I’ve never gone hungry….ever”.    Think and  think and think about the blessings.  Soon the troubles will look a lot smaller and the blessings a lot bigger.  Before long,  you’ll be dancing in the rain…..cutting a rug….light on your feet.

Here’s a tip:  Don’t wait til you feel like dancing….it’ll never happen.  You have to just do it.  Think-think-think about what’s good -right-lovely then the feelings will follow.

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Found one

Posted on April 19, 2011 by

Luke 15:4
“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?

I met a lady a few days ago at a party, lets call her Sue.  A group of us chatted and laughed, Sue joined in but was uncomfortable in some way.   Her personality was gruff and hard. Sue wasn’t healthy, she was  morbidly overweight, puffy, bad color.  Sue  didn’t really fit in, she was a brillo pad in a group of feather dusters.  Sue was cranky and abrasive,  yet you could sense that she was fragile in some way.  I suspected a tender heart lived somewhere inside.  It was clear that Sue was unhappy. When she joked , it was always at someone’s  expense, mostly her own.    I was making conversation with her and thought I had found some common ground when I said….” oh if you live ______, you must know _______…Sue replied ” He’s an A******! “

We had known eachother for maybe 15 minutes when she asked me
” Where do you go to church?” I answered.  Then she asked “what kind of church is that?”
I answered ” non-denominational, I really love my church.”
She said, raising her voice a bit ” Well you seem like a very intelligent woman, and maybe you and I can discuss your beliefs sometime, I’m sure we would end up agreeing to disagree”
I replied ” great food huh?”

I wanted to build more  relationship with Sue before we “discussed” my beliefs versus her beliefs.   I wanted to be able to communicate that I valued her as a person.

Sue is an aganostic.    She is one of the lost sheep the verse is talking about, and the Lord will leave the 99 to go after her.  The Lord wants to rescue her because  Sue lives  trying to defend herself, trying to find her way home, afraid….always searching….never really fitting in.   She lives a life of trying to feel “OK” about herself, and find her reason for existing.  Her abrasiveness, a defense, the way she treats her body, a reflection of how she feels about herself.  Sue needs to be found….rescued.  I was once in need of rescue, lost but then found by God.

Christ died for Sue, to heal her hurts, bind up her broken heart, restore her spirit.  The Lord is “after” her just as the shepherd goes after his one lost sheep, so the Lord goes after Sue.

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forget to remember

Posted on April 12, 2011 by

Are you forgetful?  It seems like I get more forgetful every year.   Not only do I forget to do something, I forget I have done it.  Hmmm… did I pick up milk?   It’s getting bad.   I’m not sure I can afford to lose many more brain cells.   I don’t want to forget the important things in life.  I want to remember to remember all God’s done for me and for my family.

The Lord did huge miracles on behalf of the Jews, and yet the Israelites also had a problem with forgetfulness.  In fact,  in the book of Joshua, God tells them to pick up 12 stones to help them remember what He’d done for them.  In the story, the Lord had parted the Red Sea 40 years before, He then stops the flow of the Jordan river so that the people of Israel could pass through into the promised land.  You’d think they’d remember a thing like that.  The Jordan was at it’s highest water level of the year ( picture a swollen river with rushing water)…. and the Lord held it back for them.  In fact the water flow stopped as soon as the priest carrying the Ark put his foot in the water.  How amazing!   Who’d forget a thing like that?   Well, apparently they would and in fact I probably would too.  The Lord commanded them to remember on purpose.

Has the Lord done awesome things on your behalf that you’ve forgotten to remember? When we remember what the Lord has done  for us, it builds up our faith to trust  God  in other  circumstances.   Our crazy schedules, the day to day errands ( picking up milk for instance)  will take our focus and  when we need a river parted, we’ll forget that we’ve been there before and God came through.  Also, if we purpose to remember God’s faithfulness,  we tend to look at every problem differently.

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