God  is a perfect Father and friend. How many good fathers would want to make it difficult for their children to understand what they wanted from them?

To find out God’s will for my life or my week or my day or my minute, I need to begin with His word.   So often, we can tend to elevate  our experiences or feelings above scripture…bad idea.  To know the mind of God, I look at what He’s already told me about myself.  Satan can counterfeit the warm fuzzy feelings we associate with the Holy Spirit and even counterfeit miracles,  so I must line up my feelings and experiences to the word of God.
2 Timothy 2:15
Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
Matthew 24:24
For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect.

God never contradicts His word….no matter how I feel about  a particular situation….no matter how “right” or “wrong” it feels at the time.    For instance, no matter how much you don’t feel love for your husband, God is not telling you to divorce him.    I know this because His word says that God hates divorce and that it’s not lawful except in cases of adultery….even then,  He still hates it. ( you certainly should never stay in an abusive situation).   So, no matter how loved, cherished and downright awesome that guy at my office makes me feel, if he’s not my husband, a relationship with him ( sexual or emotional) is definitely not God’s will.

Feelings are indicators, not dictators and can’t be trusted as the only way,  or the  primary way,  we determine what God is saying to us.

Henry Blackaby in the study “Experiencing God” says God speaks through the Bible, prayer, circumstance and the Church.  God’s invitation to do His will, will lead to a crisis of belief, that requires major adjustments in your life.  Through obedience, I will gain a deeper understanding of God’s character and be able to trust Him more and more…..and get better and better at “cracking the code”

You start second guessing God’s will for you,  because it seems too hard or is out of your comfort zone.  Nearly every success story has a measure of “it seemed impossible at the time” or “I was afraid I would fail”.   Don’t get caught in that cycle, the frustration of getting ahead of God cannot compare to the frustration of lagging behind Him ( in my humble opinion)  Once you know what God is telling you, take action on it.  Don’t wait until you “feel” like you’ll be successful.  Because confidence is found in action, if you’re frozen in fear, you’ll be trapped there waiting until you feel confident.      You can read about doing something, study it over and over, but you won’t feel completely confident until you do it.   Even if you aren’t great at it at first, the action of doing the thing dispels fear.  Take public speaking for instance.  You can read about how to do it, learn about how to speak in public, but the only way you gain confidence is to actually get up in front of some people and open your mouth.

Do everything He shows you to do to be prepared, then take the step.  The longer you wait to act, the less chance there is that you ever will actually  act.

A good friend of mine, author and blogger, Sue Ann Cordell, once told me a story that kind of thawed me out of my fear freeze.    She said God wanted her to write a book, He had even given her the title.    Sue Ann thought, “I’m not really a writer”, ” I don’t really have the time, I already have a full-time job”.  So, she put off writing the book.   She knew what God wanted her to do, but waited to do it….she was “froze up” as we say in the south.    Several months later she was in a christian book store and saw the book God had told her to write on a shelf  among the new releases.  Wow!  God had gotten that book written, but had used someone else to write it.    She told me ” Lisa, God is going to get His will accomplished, the thing is….someone else will get the blessing of doing it if you won’t.  I’ll never hesitate again.”

When you know what God’s told you to do, do it.  Here’s the thing, everyone has feelings of fear and inadequacy, look at Moses for pete’s sake.  God appeared to him in a burning bush, even I couldn’t miss that.  Moses still had to take action, in the midst of his own fear and feelings of inadequacy.  Why should we expect to be any different.  If you don’t need to rely fully on God to help you accomplish His will, you’ve probably missed it.  I call this the “BUT GOD” principle.  The I-could-no-way -have -done -this- on -my- own, but- God helped- me- principle.

Henry Blakeby,  in his study “Experiencing God” wrote, “you can’t stay and go with God”.  Once you know what God is telling you to do, step out , take action, trust God.   Train your brain to act.

We’ll chat later about some biblical principles for discerning God’s will.

“But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!” Habakkuk 2:3 LB

I’m not so great at waiting. How about you?

Are you plagued by impatience?

I don’t know about you, but when I hear God telling me something I automatically assume He means “now.”

I am a “don’t just sit there, do something“ kind of person.  Henry Blackeby says “don’t just do something, sit there“ until God tells you when and what He wants you to do.  My “do something” mindset has caused me frustration in waiting and struggle in action. When I get ahead of God, things never seem to go well. When I sense God saying “wait” I hardly ever do so happily. And, whats worse, I begin to doubt what God said if He doesn’t do it on my timetable. I have had to train my brain to wait on God’s timing. He’s never late….train your brain to hurry up, sit around, and wait on God.  Just like in the verse above you’ll have the peaceful confidence that “these things will come to pass”.

I’m not a slave to what flies through my head.  No, I can decide what I will think.  In fact, God gave us a whole book of promises and commands  to think. You know, women in particular are sooo bad about mulling.  Turning a thought  over and over in our mind, until the next thing you know, we’re being medicated for anxiety.

I’ve decided that every once in a while, I need to subject myself to voluntary brain washing…..just give that brain a good washing out.  I need to clean out all those little thoughts that set themselves up against the knowledge of God.  Anxiety, fear and worry begin with thoughts that you’ve decided to mull about.  Thinking about  the worst will rob you of the best.  In 25 years of ministry, I’ve seen countless women drive their families crazy simply because of their thought-life.

Let’s give ourselves a good brain-washing every once in a while, maybe even daily, where we clean out our minds with the promises of God.  Whatever is lovely, think upon those things.  Clean brains make for clean hearts.

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

You know I’ve experienced a certain amount of success in the business world, and people are naturally curious as to the “how” of my success.  I don’t have a college degree and  I wasn’t “born into money” or a family business.  I  built my business on a shoestring while homeschooling my kids and helping my husband plant a church.  Of course, I believe that the Lord blessed us with my business as a way to provide for our family.   But,  He called me to grow spiritually and personally in some very specific ways so that I could be successful.

Over  the next few days, I’ll be sharing with you some of the ways in which the Lord has changed me, in order  to fit me for success.

First,  He showed me the importance of brain training.  We all believe lies about ourselves from our childhood or from the enemy of our souls or from perceived failures.  I had to go to work to identify those lies and then tell myself the truth instead….the truth from THE Truth that is.

The bible says as a man thinketh so is he.  I heard a reeelly smart guy say once, wish I could remember his name because he probably said a lot of other really great things.  “You’re not what you think you are, but what you think….you are”.  I was thinking that I  was a quitter, a person who never followed through.  After all, I had quit college after 3 years, quit a job once I hated, quit piano lessons at seven….. yep,  a real quitter.  I’m always returning library books late, and just about any video store my husband tries to rent from will present him with my late fees.  He loves Redbox for just this reason…separate accounts.   Yes, I thought of myself as a quitter, and a person who racks up late fees….. a loser in anybody’s book.   I wanted to be successful in business , but kept sabotaging  myself with doubt and fear.  I felt really stuck until I realized the power of brain training.  The power of meditating on The Truth until you start to believe it….believe The TRUTH about who you are and who God is.   Every time a false thought about myself would pop into my head, I would say “no” and repeat  Jer. 29:11 outloud or in my mind.     Then, the succeeding or failing  was not about me and my ability,  but about what the Lord had promised.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Proverbs 17:9
Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.

Proverbs 19:11
A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.

It’s to your GLORY to overlook an offense.  Your glory?…  Yes,  you will be praised(gloried) by the Almighty for overlooking an offense,  and it shows your wisdom and patience to do so.

The world says, “you deserve to be mad”, the Word says “overlook it to show your wisdom and patience”.  Wow!  that’s tough sometimes, but every time I’ve decided to believe the Word and act on it, I’ve been blessed.   Especially as it relates to taking offense….I’ve decided to think the best and forgive the rest.

So instead of defusing the situation with an apology everything escalated. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get in there to turn the car off….it was veeeery frustrating.     And of course the car made me mad!  I was sooo mad that car had  locked itself when I pushed the button.   The car actually made me snap at my kids.  I know you can’t identify at all….but try to feel the frustration with me for a moment.

As women when things get out of control, we must fix them. And when we can’t we become frustrated and then the blame game begins. We are willing to blame everyone and everything else, so that we still look like we have it together.  Trying to fix other people instead of focusing on your own walk and becoming all God’s made you to be is a prescription for frustration and failure.  We are all inclined to do it however….the Lord addressed this tendency in the bible.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
Matthew 7:2-4

A plank in the eye is a very uncomfortable condition…..especially when you’re trying to remove it by looking elsewhere. Though we may feel vulnerable, it’s  time we looked on the inside and realize there are things that need to change for us to become all that God has called us to be.

As I’ve shared on previous posts, John Maxwell is one of my favorite authors on the subject of leadership.  The same principles that make you a success in marriage, will work for your good in other areas of life as well.   When you’re stuck in the “how do I change my spouse, boss, co-worker?” mode, you’re in a constant state of frustration.  It’s like wearing cute  shoes that look good but don’t fit well( which I’m in the habit of doing)   You can live with it for a while, but you can’t go the distance in them.    Defeat is always at your doorstep, and hope is gone because you can feel you have no power.

The Lord gives you NO strength or power to do His job.  He will, however, give you all kinds of strength, power and blessing to do yours.    He will favor you and bless you for your obedience.  Find out if there is any unclean way in you, agree with God about it and confess it.  Then act on what God’s shown you….really want to change.

Look at the benefits of contrition….identifying your own sin and repenting of it.

For this is what the high and exalted One says— he who lives forever, whose name is holy: “I live in a high and holy place, but also with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite.  Isa 57:15

Has not my hand made all these things, and so they came into being?” declares the LORD. “These are the ones I look on with favor: those who are humble and contrite in spirit, and who tremble at my word.  Isa 66:2

Wow….let that sink in God…You will live with me, revive my spirit and heart….You will favor me.      Lord I want to focus on other people and how they can and should improve, but you want me to focus my attention on  my own heart and life.   That’s hard,  because it makes my flesh feel good when I  think about  the deficiencies in other people…especially my husband.  I like to feel “right”.     I want a contrite heart that you might favor me oh God.  I will look at myself and take the huge log out of my own eye, because you desire it and that’s all I need to know.   I won’t wait until I “feel ” like doing it, I chose to obey right now.

You know there’s real power in  contrition.  Because my thoughts, feelings and actions are really the only things within my control, a sense of power and then incredible hope come when I decide to be sorry and be better.  I so wish I would’ve realized this sooner.  The incredible power and hope that come from  going to God and saying “show me if there is any unclean way in me” and then saying I’m sorry God .  I’ll do that differently from now on.  I had fallen into the trap of focusing on what was completely out of my control ( everyone else’s thoughts,feelings and actions), that’s a prescription for frustration and hopelessness.

Henry Blackably says in “Experiencing God” , “you can’t stay and go with God” .  I ‘ve found that to be so true.  You have to grow somewhere you’ve never been before, to go somewhere you’ve never been before.  You really  can’t stay and go with God.  You can’t stay the same and go to awesome abundant  places God  has for you.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about works-based salvation or getting God to  somehow love you more.  No, I’m talking about your awesome, abundant life here on Earth.  There is an  old  and true saying  “Sin  always takes you further than you meant to go, keeps you longer than you meant to stay and costs you more than you ever intended to pay”.   My prayer is that you don’t pay with your marriage and family,  sister.    Own your own sin, confess it , repent and actually change and feel the power of a contrite heart.      Take your eyes off of everyone else and put them on your own heart….and feel the power…. and crazy great hope that comes.

Psalm 51

For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba. ¹ Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. ² Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. ³ For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. ⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. ⁵ Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. ⁶ Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place. ⁷ Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. ⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. ⁹ Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. ¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. ¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. ¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. ¹³ Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you. ¹⁴ Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, you who are God my Savior, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. ¹⁵ Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise. ¹⁶ You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. ¹⁷ My sacrifice, O God, is^[b] a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise. ¹⁸ May it please you to prosper Zion, to build up the walls of Jerusalem. ¹⁹ Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous, in burnt offerings offered whole; then bulls will be offered on your altar.

Any real life change must start with  a realistic look at yourself and what God may want to change about you or your thinking.   Many times I compare myself to other people.  Typically,  I try and  choose people who make me look good.   “Well, I’m not soooo bad compared to her.”  But God wants us to measure ourselves by His standard,  to “find out what pleases the Lord” so to speak.   When I do this, I begin to feel more like David felt when he wrote this Psalm.  In my humble opinion, there’s no greater stinker than a christian without a contrite heart.  We can be so self-righteous and become focused on all the wrong things,  when we aren’t in the regular habit of humbling ourselves before God and confessing our sin .   In my experience,  one of the greatest stumbling blocks that the lost have,  are the Christians who “feel good about themselves”. Neither my husband or myself have ever been unfaithful in a physical sense, but I had been unfaithfully desiring a different kind of husband.  I was desiring a husband who provided better financially, so I could stay home with my kids….  a more thoughtful husband who didn’t leave his socks on the floor or his dirty dishes in the sink.   Perhaps even a husband who had a less demanding job.  Someone who was more thoughtful, who never lost his temper or who would ask for directions sooner…..    David’s sin was physical, mine emotional….still sin. My life began to change when I began to take responsibility for  the only variable within my control…. me.  I asked God to show me my sin and He was faithful to oblige.